Clash of Culture

Growing up, food was always a fun part of fellowship. You loaded your plate up with sweet and savory snacks and found some friends to visit with while you ate. It was normal for me to put a handful of chips on my plate. I did not take one at a time. Usually the serving table was separate from the fellowship tables anyway. Well, when I was in the Philippines, I was offered some chips. Without thinking, I took a handful. My hosts were offended. “You’re selfish!” they accused. They had expected me to take just one chip. When I finished that one, I could take another one. I failed to see what the difference was between eating 6 chips from a handful or eating 6 chips, one at a time! It was simply cultural. I came from a country with much more abundance. I was visiting a country where poverty was more of a reality.

Another time, I was offered a slice of watermelon. I assumed they were handing it out to everyone, and since I like watermelon, I accepted it. As I took one bite, one of the other young people looked out of sorts. “You’re selfish!” He shook his head. I felt a pang of regret as I noticed there was not enough for everyone, and they had prioritized giving it to the foreigners first. I will pause here to clarify that my time in the Philippines was overwhelmingly positive, and the people were very friendly and kind overall. But I do remember these two occasions distinctly. Although I knew I could exhibit selfishness, as we all can when we’re walking in the flesh rather than the Spirit, I would not have characterized myself as a selfish person. In fact, much of what was causing me to be labeled as such would have passed below the radar in my home country. When my culture clashed with theirs, misunderstandings ensued. This is part of the challenges of moving to a foreign country. Things that are normal to me may be weird to my host country and vice versa. There are subtle differences which can easily be missed or you just “have to know,” or risk blunders and embarrassment. Even when the differences can be obviously seen, the reason behind them is not always readily apparent. Unfortunately, misunderstandings cannot always be avoided, but as you seek to remain humble and teachable, I’ve found most people are willing to forgive your “quirks.” It all comes down to loving others enough to do things their way, even when ours “makes more sense.” At the end of the day, there’s no point in offending someone over chips!