Grace for Today

I am a planner. I thrive with lists and goals. The upside to this is that I can be organized, efficient and productive. The downside is that I really struggle when things are out of my control. 

I remember being on the road full-time with my newborn. He was never a great sleeper and I had a rough postpartum recovery. I definitely was all in survival mode. It was often one day at a time, and we didn’t always even know where we’d be spending the night. I remember sharing some things with a lady at the time, and she said she’d never be able to handle that because she was a “planner.” It surprised me because I knew I was one as well…or at least I had been. Right then, I was just getting through each day. 

When I’m not in survival mode, however, I do like to plan things. I like to feel like I have some control. Sadly, this tendency to plan and seek control can often spill over into worrying unnecessarily. I love the quote “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength” by Corrie Ten Boom. How true it is, but how hard to remember in the moment. Because in planning, I am often thinking ahead, trying to figure out all the what-ifs of scenarios which, in all honesty, may never come to pass. I was worrying about three things when I stopped myself and realized that none of them had happened yet. Maybe they wouldn’t even happen at all. As hard as it was, I had to release control. When or if such things took place, I had to trust that God was going to give the grace I would need for that moment. But for the time being, I was robbing the present. I didn’t have the grace or strength I needed right now because I was too busy living in the future thinking, “If I can barely manage now, how can I when?”…but how foolish. God doesn’t give us grace for tomorrow until tomorrow. And when we don’t waste time worrying and over-planning, we really do have what we need for today. After all, He does promise, “My grace is sufficient for thee.” 2 Corinthians 12:9