Joy for the Journey

My stomach knotted. There was no resolution. There was no way this could be “made better.” A good night’s rest hadn’t made it better either. I smiled slightly as I thought about my husband’s annoyance when I kissed my toddler’s “owies” while saying “all better!” Maybe that was the wrong thing to teach him. But somehow, when you’re young, a mother’s kiss really does make it all better. Why do problems just keep getting bigger and more impossible as you get older? Why was hopeless despair hovering over me like an angry, dark cloud?             

Maybe it’s because I have not matured emotionally as much as I should have. But I really struggle with being joyful during those times when there is no resolution or happy ending in sight. 

As I pondered this situation, heavy on my heart, the Lord whispered assurance to me. I suddenly realized that I did not need to wait for my circumstances or even the people in my life to magically change and be what I felt I needed them to be. I didn’t even need to wait until I had attained perfection, because,  well…we all know that’s not happening on this side of eternity! I could be joyful right here, right now. I did not need to fear being hurt emotionally, over and over again. His grace is sufficient. “The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?” Psalm 118:6 

Fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, loomed before me as giants.  But as I looked again through the light of these scriptures, they suddenly faded as the mirages they were. Joy wasn’t something I had to wait for in the long-distant future. God was offering me joy now…for the journey. 💕